Monday, July 28, 2003

Fang; just guess what inspired this.

Freedom is one of those things you take for granted until you no longer have it. It's so close an so real, so perfect your whole being is encompassed with the desire to once more hold it in the palm of your hand. The force of it's pull draws you to it again and again and you reach your hands through the bars of obligation that bind you to the spot. Your reaching fingers cannot grasp it but if you stretch yourself to the limit you can even, for a few precious moments, touch it. It's scent and sound is intoxicating as your outstretched fingertips grace the cool smooth surface and the memories flood your person, of what it used to be like, to have it, to cherish it, to hold it close to you. These memories fill you with a deep and unhealed remorse of longing for it. You feel worse than if you had never touched it, never knowing what you were missing. Yet despite the pain, despite the anguish that is slowly eating away at your will to live any longer, you still reach, still stretch forth your hand, trying desperately to not only touch it, but to grasp hold of it, and pull it through the bars, these confines, on your time, your energy, your very life. You know the pain would be worth it. Somehow you know, with every fiber of your being, that if you could only reach it, the confines surrounding you would crumble to dust, unable to withstand the splendor and purest joy contained within your firmly clasped hand.

Friday, July 25, 2003

Could I be any more conspicuous? --;;;;;;;;

Sorry about the sappiness of this. And just for this in general.

I felt sick. Completely sick. There was a hole in the pit of my stomach and a burning ache in my heart. Tears coursed uncontrollably down my face as the soft spoken voices of the countless dead rand in my ears. It was all my fault. Endless people were dying because of me and my selfish, foolish, nonsense ideas of "love and peace." Faces danced in front of my eyes; friends I'd known since they were children, kids with so much to learn, so many things to live for... Guilt tightened its hold on my chest. I gasped and caughed, squeezing my eyes shut tight. Images I've long since tried to forget sprang into my vision. Memories whirled and spun, each as painful as the next, causing my head to want to burst. My eyes shot open as my mind halted on the fact that people were losing their lives, the most precious thing anyone can posess, because of me. Because I was alive. Huddled and shaking now, I opened my mouth and screamed. Screamed for each and every lost second of life, for all their pain, the pain of those they left behind, for the pain of my decisions. I'm so confused. There's an alternative burried somewhere in my subconcious, but I haven't dug deep enough to find it yet. Spiders...Butterflys...There's a way to save them both. There's a way...

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Fang: I conquered camp! BWAHAHAHAHA! *shows off her battle scars*

Well I'm back from girls camp only slightly the worse for wear.*chuckles* It was tons of fun but I missed you guys terribly. *sighs* I probly won't be able to leave the house for a couple of weeks but you guys are more than welcome to come over. I just hope I'll still be able to do the HP skit thing but if we do it soon I might have a but of a problem as far as me being the bottom half of hagrid goes although I think my preformance of snape might be better. ~_^ (I'm sure this will all make perfect sence once I see you guys) in the meantime I will be doing a fair amount of babysitting but I'm pretty sure i can perswade my mom to let shelli or kaiti babysit for a while.

I can't wait till flip gets back. (by the way I'm so sory I wasn't able to come to the dance. My parent's kidnapped me.) Honestly we all need to have a party soon (hopefully one that everyone will show up to *MutterSpazMuttermutter*)

*sighs* well I have to go so I'll talk to you guys later
tata for now!
Fang

Friday, July 18, 2003

Fang : Anybody wana come visit me?

Well Shelli and I are finally going to get rid of all of our junk from the little cleaning spree we had lately. I'm gonna be so glad when it's finally gone. We're going to be going down to the AF park (the one by the stop light with the church right across the street from it) and we are going to be there from about 9-12 Saturday morning (tomorrow) to try and sell as much of it as we can. If any of you aren't busy tomorrow (and even if you are) please stop by and say hello to us. (I'm gonna be so bored sitting there with just Shelli for company) I promise I'll make it worth while! (Aubrey! I'll donate money towards the HP spoof fund!) Right now I still have to finish pricing all of the stuff so I have to go but I hope to see you guys tomorrow!

Over and out!
fAng