We've set a date!  We're getting married on September 12th (friday) in the Mount Timpanogos Temple.  We're planning on getting married at about 10 or so in the morning, then taking pictures, having the luncheon, and then having the reception at about 6 or so.  We'll be sending out invitations as it gets closer.
Yay!

Soo..I'm engaged!

Yuppers, majorly weird and crazy, but I'm seriously engaged!
Alan is Marianne Schmidt's older brother.
 
Good old Marianne on Shakespeare team.
Anyways, Alan and I had met on occasion when i would go over to Marianne's house, but didn't really get to know each other until Marianne's wedding on January 5, 2008.  About a half an hour into the reception I noticed Alan had been following me around, staying within a 15ft. radius of me at all times.  Even when I tried to lose him by ducking into the bathroom when he wasn't looking, I came out and he was faithfully waiting.  
During the dancing I noticed he was standing alone, and dragged him into the spinning circle of people, after which he asked me to dance. 

 We danced a couple of times, then the reception ended and we all cleaned up.  Alan and I were some of the last to leave.  
I helped Aubrey out to her car with Alan following close behind, and he hovered in the parking lot while Aubrey drove off.  I gave him a hug and got into my car.  I was just about to drive off when I heard a knock on my car window.  And there was Alan, looking very nervous.  In a rush he said "I know this is kinda weird and a little bit awkward but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try.  Do you wana go out with me sometime?"
"Sure."
". . . Really?"
"Why not?"
I gave him my phone number and the rest is pretty much history.

We were officially dating on our second date on Jan, 10th.  Its been really weird for me as I never dated anyone in specific in highschool, so I'm glad that the awkward dating stage only lasted 5 days, as Alan proposed on Jan 15th, just 10 days after him asking me out. 
He proposed using his class ring, as everything was so sudden for both of us.  It took me two hours to say yes, with Alan stewing over it the whole time.  I wore the ring on a chain around my neck till we got something more official, but the wedding ring itself still is in the making.

And that is how it went down.  I can't believe it happened so fast and so young, but I know its perfect for both of us.  Heck, I used to make fun of people like us all the time.  But I couldn't be happier with it happening and am so excited!   We haven't set a date yet (I know , I know, I'm a slacker)  but it should be in September, so there's enough time to prepare for it.  I promise I'll let everyone know the instant we decide!

I'm sick of this.

 

Well it’s certainly been a long time since I’ve bothered to update this.  Unfortunately my need to rant supersedes my need to fill everyone in on my life over the past few months, so I’ll add life details later.

I’m sick and tired of games in relationships.  I don’t get them, can’t play them, and get way too stressed out by them.  I am completely confident in all but one area of my life – I can do anything, and am sure I can handle anything that comes up – except in the relationship aspect. 

I have no problem making and keeping friends.  I love people and am fairly accepting of others and their relative stages of life, but the instant any issues of “liking” come into play, on my part or theirs, I’m a complete and total mess.  I’ve done everything I can think of to combat this in myself, but nothing seems to work.  Ever since 7^th grade I’ve had people close to me who play the game so effortlessly, and I can’t seem to figure out what’s going on.  I have friends who were more experienced in dating at 16 than I am now, and I just don’t get it.  I’m not a horrible catch, quite the contrary.  I know I have talents and I know I’m accomplished in a bunch of areas, so why do I have problems meeting even one guy who recognizes and appreciates it?

The guys I meet as of late fall into one of two categories – The ones who would never be interested in dating me or the ones who are only interested in how I could satisfy them, and I’m not that kind of a person.  I care too much about people and have my emotions linked too closely with physicality to be a one night stand type of girl.  I just can’t shake that, no matter how much I’ve wanted to, especially now that my restrictions are all personally, rather than externally enforced.

The only guy I came close to dating essentially used me and pushed me beyond my limits till he was satisfied, and then I didn’t hear from him for a week.  When I was finally able to talk to him he kicked me to the curb with a smile and a “lets just be friends” and such has only heightened my insecurities. 

And now a similar circumstance has come up and I’m just waiting.  Hoping he won’t do the same, but preparing myself for another let down.  Another bit of abuse by someone I called a friend.  And if the same does happen I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it.  I’m trying so hard to do my best.  To trust someone with the ability to break my heart, hoping that someone can prove to me that people are as kind, decent, and amazing as I’ve always believed they are. 

I’m not asking for much.  I’m not even asking for a relationship.  I’m just asking that he talks to me.  If it’s a Nicmo, ok.  Fine.  I can deal with that and be perfectly happy, with no negative feelings and no baggage on either side.  I can be whatever he wants me to be.  But I can’t stand another week with no word.  Another week of silence, and another week that makes me question myself and who I am in a way that nothing else can.  I didn’t deserve it the first time and I certainly don’t deserve it now.

Address!!!

And now, to prove I moved out...

568 W. 1428 S. 
Orem, Ut 84058

Feel free to come visit me!

Moved Out!

I actually did it! I am officially moved out! I now live in the Pinnacle Canyon View apartments in orem (Right behind the wal*mart off University Pkwy) and so far I'm enjoying it. My roomates are great and its close enough for me to walk to school, which is nice. I still have to transfer for work (I'm still working in sandy until further notice) and I don't have a computer set up there, which is driving me crazy, but those are my only gripes currently. As soon as I find out my address I'll let people know.

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