Things are finally starting to settle back down again. Alan and I are getting to a point where we're ok again. Alan is loving his new job. He's now working as a night stocker for the wal-mart in american fork. He loves that he can work at his own pace and listen to his ipod while he works.
As for me I've been working at a couple of things. I'm lone peak high's assistance debate coach and I LOVE it! It's something that i can do really well and the kids are really benefiting from what i have to say. It's incredible how uplifting it is to feel like I'm making a difference, no matter how slight.
I also have an interview here soon for two other jobs; one a bluehost in the billing department and one as a caretaker for a woman who is a parapalegic. I would love either job, but bluehost will pay better. Cross your fingers for me!
I never thought i'd say this, but I'm starting to realize that I've been suffering from some mild depression for a while now. Not anything serious enough to be of real concern, but certainly a struggle for me and my family. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons for this is our struggle to get pregnant. I've wanted to be a mom for as long as i can remember, and it was something that I had never worried about. After all, my mom gave birth to 8 kids! She was pregnant with me before their honeymoon was over. To make matters worse there are several couples around me who are getting pregnant as unhappy accidents. I have no problem with those couples who happily embrace an unexpected pregnancy, it's the ones who cry worrying about how their lives will change. It seems so unfair that they should look at what would be my greatest blessing as a burden!
Poor Alan. He's so patient with me when it comes to this. Every month without fail I get his hopes up and every month he's so supportive when tests come back negative. I tell you what, i don't know where I'd be without him.
I don't know, maybe it's just that it's late and i'm missing Alan being here at night. Either way, tomorrow is another day.
