Umm...I dyed my hair again...and I'm tired and bored of homework.


I'm really getting too excited about being able to take and post pictures at will.

Yup, needless to say Aubrey and I were bored and didn't want to go to class.

Lalalalala!

Yay! So far so good.

I know my saying so gets a bit redundant, but life is crazy as of late (Aubrey and Bethany can attest).

I'm finally starting to get the hang of work, school, and no sleep, and I'm not sure that's a good thing.  Umm... I went to go visit Cameron and Richard at Utah State with Bethany last Friday, which was really enjoyable^^; Bethany and I rocked out to her awesome music, which I really need to steal some of ASAP*  We played risk, which is the first time I've done such in real life, and talked and ete and it was all just amazing.  I also played with Andy and Cody a lot, which is always a bit of an adventure.  
I'm still having trouble dealing/processing the fact that so many people I know are getting married right now.  Grady and her guy (who I still have to hear about from her), Katie and Josh, Nichole and Ryan, just to name a few.  I don't know quite how I feel about it.  I mean, I'm so happy for them and I'm sure they'll do wondefully, but it's still kind of scary.  I'm at the point where I want a relationship,but not a proposal.  



*Note.  I am in the process of putting together a bunch of new cds.  My dad just got me a nice MP3 player for my car and I'm doing mood Cds(like dancehappy, sad, hyper, lonely, love, etc.), which I am so incredibly excited about.  The only problem is I don't have all that much in the way of accesible music as most of mine was erased when our server crashed a little while ago.  Also, I don't have much in the way of new music or little known songs, so if any of you could help me out that'd be wonderful!  I'm looking for cds I can borrow/copy, or artists/specific songs that all y'all enjoy.

2006 & 2007

2006 in review

Firsts-

*First time at college.
*First time going to church without my family.
*First single’s ward.
*First kiss.
*First friend married.
*First cell phone (which is now working again!).
*First coaching job.
*First experience with drunks (I live a sheltered life).
*First college debate tournament.
*First time pulling anything out of my shirt for a speech.
*First all nighter for school.
*First good paying job.
*First myspace account.
*First time sleeping at an airport.
*First debit card.
*First time ordering something online
*First car.
*First time on an inversion table.
*First time getting stuck in the mud and being unable to get out (thank you Adam and Hadley)
*First time graduating
*First jujitsu class
*First roadtrip without my family (though definitely not the last if I have anything to say about it)
*First ride in a convertible with the top down
*First time playing a Nun
*First lake trip without my family
*First 2^nd degree sunburn
*First time iceblocking
*First time river rafting
*First time falling asleep under the stars
*First time crashing a wedding reception
*First time seriously almost failing a class
*First time hugging a complete stranger on purpose
*First time eating an entire jar of maraschino cherris
*First time going to a funeral

Overall it has been a pretty good year. There are a few things that I would change, but, for the most part, I don’t think I would do anything differently. I’ve changed a lot, as is to be expected, but I’m overall happy with the changes.

And now for 2007-
Resolutions/Goals-

1.) Get my associates.
2.) Post on my various blog sites at least twice a month.
3.) Lose at least 20 pounds.
4.) Move away from home.
5.) Procrastinate less.
6.) Lie less (convince myself that it’s not worth the 20 points extra credit)
7.) Take more time just to relax with people.
8.) Keep a job for more than a year.
9.) Give hugs more frequently.
10.) Write letters to people on time and send them on time.
11.) Cross at least 5 more things off my life goals list.

We’ll see how I do.

I seek forgiveness!

Looking over my journal recently I realized that I haven’t really posted here since October. That, my friends, is sad. This must be changed. Following up with my new year’s resolutions, I’m posting once again.

Updates

-School

Not ready to be back yet. I managed to pull off fairly decent, though not entirely satisfactual grades for last term, and I’m both upset and relieved to be done with such. This term I’m taking 18 credit hours (= 6 classes) that I’m pretty sure will keep me rather busy. I start at 8AM and go till 5:15PM with one break in the middle, which may soon be taken up by debate meetings. I’ll say this much for having a small team, it does make scheduling a lot easier. The classes are;

Math-I just hope I survive. I really don’t dislike math, it’s just that I generally don’t understand it, (which is due both to me not taking classes and to having bad teachers when I did take it) and that causes a general aversion towards it. Fortunately, I think this class should be better than previous ones with more dedicated classmates, which will help a bunch.

Biology- Should be tolerable. I was overjoyed today when Aubrey and I met about 10ft from the classroom door and found out we had the same class. It is, as of yet, the only class I have a friend in, though I have a few acquaintances in other classes.

Physical Sciences- I don’t know yet. I’m hoping the teacher proves to be as distractable as he was in class today. On the plus side, he tells jokes whenever he thinks we’re glassing over.

Health- If that woman says "OK?" one more time I’m gona kill her.

Criminal Justice- should be a pretty interesting class, and a good base for lawschool.

English- Thanks to Woolsey, I will be brilliant in this class. It’s a literature class that’s going to be about 1/10th the work and difficulty of lit with her. I’m going to be able to BS my way to an A no problem.

With debate as an extra curricular, I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it all.

-Work

I am no longer working at Kid’s Korner (thank goodness!) It was a rather bitter end, but I am really glad I quit when I did. I now work at the Costco in Sandy, and I’m very happy with it. The shifts are a little long, with 8 ½ hours being the usual, but they give a bunch of breaks and the pay is better than just about anywhere else. I was working seasonal in the Bakery, but they hired me back and now I work in the Deli MWFS. If you’re in that area on those days feel free to stop by and pay me a visit. The only downside is that I’m working in a cooler, but I’m getting used to it. I’ll most likely be moving to either the AF or Orem Costco as soon as my 90 day probation is up. Which one I do move to largely depends on when I move out, which is scheduled for either this summer or fall depending on how finances and other variables go. I already have a place set up, which would cost me $200 a month in rent and utilities, and is relatively close by school, but I haven’t worked up the nerve to just get up and move yet. I’m rather attached to my free room and board, but gas prices are really driving me crazy (no pun intended).

Christmas break was lovely. I got to see a whole bunch of people I love and miss, though I missed a few others (Jenn, we will so hang out soon, perhaps one day after work when I’m already almost there). Christmas was chaotic as usual, with my extended family partying at my house on Christmas eve, then opening presents and then lazing about the house on Christmas. This year wasn’t as lazy as usual though, as santa brought DDR, but the sight of my dad challenging Thomas-my 4 year old brother-was well worth it. I also got a camera, all the better to show my latest change. 

Yes, it’s red. Really red. Katie Berry dyed it for me the other day and I’m still getting used to it. It’s been a rather fun change though. I think it’s the darkest my hair has ever been.

Yupyupyup.

More later as I think of it.

Mission call

Mike Romney just got his mission call! He's going to Montreal Canada french speaking and is leaving for the MTC on Feb. 14th. Everyone go congratulate him!

I keep having people ask me how I’m doing or how college life is. I usually will answer that everything’s fine, I’m busy as ever, and college life is crazy. In a way, this is a better, or rather, more in depth view of what’s been going on.

Lately I’ve had a real hard time processing what’s going on. I go to work, classes, and other stuff, and I’m in a constant state of exhaustion. I truly feel bad about all of the comments I’ve made in the past ranting about people changing. I now know I have never had the right to judge that, nor will I ever have that right. I’ve done a fair amount of changing over the past little while, particularly over the past few days and I’m still deciding if those changes were for the best.

I really don’t care anymore. I go through the motions, make people believe I care that they have a crush on this guy or mastered a test or have emotional impact on me, but it’s all feeling so superficial. I got my first kiss from a person who has no emotional attachment to me nor I to him, and I have no real emotional response to it. I’m not angry, not happy, not bitter, not anxious. It was a rather momentous occasion, and yet I don’t have enough concern to assign an emotion to it.

I suppose I’ve been spoiled. Growing up I never had a guy treat me like a piece of meat, at least not to where I heard about it. Now, I feel cold and packaged ever so cleanly, so much so that even those apprehensive about killing something feel comfortable using me. Some of you may be shocked to find that I swear more often, almost every bit of which is aimed at myself. I look at my writing, my emotions, my drives, and my actions, and I hate that damn slutty bitch so pathetically stuck in an emo-angst rut.

I’ve moved past the cold stage and straight into the tingling numb of frostbite. Even in social situations such as parties or tournaments I’m surrounded by people, all of them behind a wall that they have no idea is there. I suppose it’s natural, after all, I had many a friend go through the same thing. Does that make it right? Does that excuse me? All the relationships I’ve built up over the years are simply sifting away and I’m not making new friends to replace them, so intent am I on pretending to grab at the fading grains. I have little doubt that there will be shallow, well meant responses to this post. It’s the typical thing to do and I will respond back in kind, telling everyone that I’m fine so we can all go back to our contented worlds, satisfied that we did our bit of charity work for the day. And yet, if I’m really so cynical of the comments and my response, then why didn’t I post it privately?

There was a time when I would cry myself to sleep almost every night just to purge myself of all of the grief going on around me. Now I simply sleep.

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