wow. what more can i say...wow. everything has gone haywire...not just with me...but everyone. We have all lost direction. i know i can't say anything to help, to uplift your spirits, to take away this pain. i can't do anything, and i HATE feeling helpless! all of you are amazing! i know you don't believe it, espically coming from me, but i HONESTLY truthfully mean it! and I know you probably don't want to hear anymore words...actions would be nice huh?! and we are all just so freakin lazy that none of us get off our butts and take the effort to do those things...me included!! i'm such a hippocrite!
Lou...you are my hero. I love you. TRUELY!! I don't know what i can say to tell how amazing you are! i can't express it...i just can't...it's too much. you've saved my life more than once, i owe you big...and even if i didn't i would pick you as a friend!!! you are cirtianly not just a tag along...NO WAY!! you are way more than that...and if no one else thinks so, just know that i love you, you are my friend, and i would never concider you just a tag along (plus, i know how you feel, i'm no in highschool either) call me, we NEED to hang out. I mean it! (763-7790...you can write it down for the 6th time in your house!! hehe ^^;)
Aubrey...I love you..and I MEAN IT!!!!! I can't bear to even read about how things are for you. I feel so bad that i can't do anything, i really wish i could. and if there is ANYTHING i can help with, do, say, or whatever, please...no DO...call me, tell me, use some form of communication!! i don't want things to be so bad for you, or anyone. I REALLY WISH that i could take all of your problems away, to make life enjoyable, fun, relaxed, and not so burdened. but i can't do that, i'm no god! but i want to help in anyway! You are such an amazing person. You have taught me so much. and I TRUELY appreciate all you have done for me; for being there, for giving me a shoulder to cry on, for being my friend, for loving me for who i am, for not trying to change me, for caring, for having fun with me, for letting me get to know you, for letting me into your life, and for giving your friendship and suport! you are truely awesome!
Cameron...i miss you. I miss your outgoing personality, your love, your friendship. i want to tell you I love you. you have been so amazing to me. I am so fortunate to have been able to meet and get to know you. You make life seem so easy, i have never seen you loose your cool, or get overwhelmed with anything. I have only ever seen you succeed..and that's awesome. You try soo hard for things, you work so hard, and you have endurance and perserverence. You are such an example in my life. I have been thinking about you lately, and all of the things we've done..like the ice cream contests and such. I miss it all. You...you...are such a comfort to have in my life, to know i have a friend like you just makes my day! And even though we never talk, just know i love and think about you...and hope our friendship lasts through time!!!!!!
Jenni...You are truely an inspiration. you have helped me so much, and have taught me not to be so afraid. you have let me be myself and still be loved. i love you! i can't tell you how amazed i am at you...and how jealous i've been at times...but i know i shouldn't. i know that you are amazing, and that you have friends, but i realize, so do i. I have all these amazing friends and don't know how or why i deserve such people in my life, but i'm soo glad you are apart of it! i don't know how i would have gotten through some things with out you or your family. you are amazing!
Mike...gus gus...you are soo cool!! I love coming to your house every week and seeing you, then having the most random conversations, and leaving with a smile on my face! you really let me be myself, and i appreciate that soo much. You are honestly like my older brother, and i've always wanted that! i know i can trust you, and i love you! i have been given permission by my parents (all 3) that i could marry you!! hehe...and i love it! i want to thank you for all you've done for me and my life! You are so amazing! don't ever change!
Ani...our early morning chats, sob sessions, and laughs. it's all amazing. you are such a person. i can't tell you how much you mean to me, and how much you have really truely helped me. eventhough we only had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep, it was all worth it. You have taught me soo much and really have helped me grow. I love you and couldn't have made it through parts of life with out you. keep up what you are doing, and know i will always be here for you!!!!!!! i'm always your friend, you can come run away to my house anytime!! *_- hehe! I love you!
Everyone else...(I dont mean not to give you a personal message, it's just that i don't have very much time left) I love you all!! I dont know if i would be living with out you. You have all taught me sooo much. you have shown me more love and friendship than i deserve, or could ever have hoped for. You are all soo amazing, and i look up to each and every one of you!
I could go on talking about myself and my stupid problems. but i don't want to. I don't want life to be so down...why can't we all just be happy...haha yeah right!
it's not for me to decide! I think about everyone all of the time and what we used to have...i just want to think it's been put on pause until everyone is back together, but then i realized that it will never be the same! but there is nothing i can do and i hate it! I want to do something, but i'm either incapable, or too lazy. And I want to change that, but i don't know how! and that bugs me...arg..
*confused, angry, sad, depressed, determined, hopeless, and wanting something you can't have kind of look*
I am going to try harder to be better. I'm going to not be so lazy. I'm going to call all of you. I'm going to plan a get together, and everyone must come. I'm going to change the world!! *almost evil but sincere laugh*
I can't do everything, and i know it. No one person can...but i will try. I will TRY!!
*starts to cry*
-Mole
1 comments:
Fang
You know that you can run away any time to my house as well^^; At this point I couldn't care less about the small amount of sleep. If I was any help at all it was worth it to me as well, and I want you to know I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Love you so much,
Ani
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