I have the bestest husband in the whole wide world!!!

Yesterday was definitely a crazy day. I was stuck on a call about half an hour past my usual shift at work, so I was way rushed getting home in time to workout with Marianne, only to walk in the door and see that Alan had cleaned up the apartment after he got off work to surprise me! Seriously, it was spotless! Now all I have left is some minor organizing in our apartment and we'll be ready to move on to step 2 of my storage unit craft room plan!

Crafting complications

I have seen so many wonderful blogs as of late that illustrate these wonderfully beautiful designs for clothes, jewelry, knitting, crochet, etc. You name it, they craft it. And oh how I want to be one of those cool crafty people!

I am one of those people who starts projects, but never finishes them, or at least not in a timely manner. I used to do art a lot in highschool, but I think I've finished maybe 5 drawings in my whole life. My sketchbooks are full of disembodied heads and headless bodies, all of which I meant to finish but either forgot about them, or thought they were unworthy of finishing because the arm or leg or eye wasn't quite right. My mom will also tell you what a pain it was to get me to finish a sewing project, and half the reason why most of them got finished was because I had to wear them to a school dance or play that very night, and they were always finished one minute past the very last minute.

And yet, despite knowing all of this about myself and my procrastination, despite how untidy and unorganized I am, I am itching to make something. I want to sit down and spend some time doing something productive. Reading definitely keeps me occupied and it doesn't make a mess, but I want something to show for my free time.

So this is my resolve. I have a few steps that will make this possible.
1. Clean my apartment. Why? Because it is messy, and I need it done to feel comfortable starting any other projects.
2. Clean and reorganize my storage unit so that there is enough room for it to be my new craft room. It is about 25ft from my apartment, so I could go there whenever I wish, and it's far enough from my kitchen so I wouldn't snack while I craft. Additionally I've been meaning to clean and organize it anyways, and it would make it so that our apartment feels bigger with any extra stuff organized and usable. Moreover, if I follow through with my past pattern of not finishing what I started, then the mess will not be in our living space. Hurrah for multiple birds with one stone!
3. Set up my craft room. I have a dresser and a table in there that don't fit in our apartment that I can use. Must needs buy a fan for the summer if it's going to be bearable in there. Fortunately there is light and I think there is electricity...ok, that may be something I need to check on first...
4. Start crafting! There's enough space in there beyond what is needed for stuff that doesn't fit in our apartment that I would have all the room I need. I might even share it with Alan, but the jury is still out on that one.

So there's my plan! The electricity could be a problem, but I will find a way somehow! I'll update with the progress.

I < 3 Dr. Elmore!

I tell you what, I am so grateful for Dr. Elmore! I went to him yesterday for the first time in a while. Last time I was there I had major issues with too much estrogen, which fortunately has almost resolved. When I got there he started with the Nutrition Response Testing, which looks totally bizarre, but is really entertaining. My body pretty much screamed at him that I have lead poisoning, and wouldn't let him see anything else until he had taken care of it.
Other than that, my thyroid is really having issues. I have a temporary allergy to eggs and rice, and have some plastic toxicity, but those should be fixed within a month. He also gave me a thyroid booster, so that should really help me feel less sick.

When I grow up...

I had an interesting conversation with Marianne the other day. The topic? What we want to be when we grow up. I know, it sounds kind of weird to ask that question at 22 years of age, but I've never been old enough and experienced enough to really honestly answer that.

I considered being a lawyer in high school. Goodness knows I would probably be good at it, but the schooling is another 4 years, and I don't think it's really worth it for me at this time in my life.

I considered being a teacher, which I would love, but what would I teach? The only subjects that I had a passion for were English, Debate, and Drama, and with those programs being cut at such a huge rate around Utah, I don't know if I would even be in the running, let alone if it would pay enough with just those classes.

I've considered doing something with computers, which would pay well, and I could learn, but it's not my ideal field in any means.

I've considered psychology, but I don't think I could deal with the secrets and the burden of helping fix people's problems, let alone be able to give them the tough love everyone needs at times.

I considered being a mediator, and that one...that one I think I can do. Some good friends of my parents just got into it, and I think it would be a great job for me. It's like being a lawyer, psychologist, and teacher all rolled into one, but lacking the responsibility and take home frustration of each. So that, ladies and gentleman, is my new goal. Wish me luck!

News and rants, as always.

Things are finally starting to settle back down again. Alan and I are getting to a point where we're ok again. Alan is loving his new job. He's now working as a night stocker for the wal-mart in american fork. He loves that he can work at his own pace and listen to his ipod while he works.
As for me I've been working at a couple of things. I'm lone peak high's assistance debate coach and I LOVE it! It's something that i can do really well and the kids are really benefiting from what i have to say. It's incredible how uplifting it is to feel like I'm making a difference, no matter how slight.
I also have an interview here soon for two other jobs; one a bluehost in the billing department and one as a caretaker for a woman who is a parapalegic. I would love either job, but bluehost will pay better. Cross your fingers for me!
I never thought i'd say this, but I'm starting to realize that I've been suffering from some mild depression for a while now. Not anything serious enough to be of real concern, but certainly a struggle for me and my family. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons for this is our struggle to get pregnant. I've wanted to be a mom for as long as i can remember, and it was something that I had never worried about. After all, my mom gave birth to 8 kids! She was pregnant with me before their honeymoon was over. To make matters worse there are several couples around me who are getting pregnant as unhappy accidents. I have no problem with those couples who happily embrace an unexpected pregnancy, it's the ones who cry worrying about how their lives will change. It seems so unfair that they should look at what would be my greatest blessing as a burden!
Poor Alan. He's so patient with me when it comes to this. Every month without fail I get his hopes up and every month he's so supportive when tests come back negative. I tell you what, i don't know where I'd be without him.
I don't know, maybe it's just that it's late and i'm missing Alan being here at night. Either way, tomorrow is another day.

Weekly woes

And now, for a bit of a rant;

I am seriously starting to freak out. Alan and I came out to APX with the hope that we would actually be able to earn enough money to get us completely out of debt. So far though, we are just accumulating more of it. Maybe it's just the stress of having Alan gone for the second week in a row (which will most likely turn into a third as they go to their new area next week), or maybe it's the stress of not finding a job that works, but I am nearly at my breaking point.
I hate being such a baby about Alan being gone. I'm constantly worrying that everything will go right. I had hoped that I would be able to help out with some of his installs when he's in town, but that's not an option anymore. So for now, I'm sitting at home alone waiting for a job offer to come through and hope that it will be something that will have a pay off soon.
Gnar... I hate this.

If anyone knows of anyone who is hiring (online or in the St. Paul/Minneapolis area) please let me know!

Why I love Maurices!

I was shopping at the mall the other day and found Maurices, which could become one of my favorite stores because of their jeans!
They have Ani brand jeans!I was so excited! Not only do they have my name, but they are the best brand they had, and amazingly comfortable! I bought two pairs I was so happy! They were having a buy one get on half off sale, so it worked out to be about $16 a pair.

Yay for clothes!