I was watching Star Wars (yes, all of them) the other day. Many people have found such deep personal revelation and insight from the series, and I guess it was about time for me.
I would not make a good Jedi. I live far to much in the future, looking forward to the "When we have money" or "When we have kids" or "When we have a house". I suppose I've always been this way, only it's been "When I have a boyfriend" or "When I have a good job" or "When I have my degree" or "When I get married". I missed most of the opportunities available in my first year of marriage, because I was too obsessed with the future to enjoy what I have. I have a wonderful husband who loves me more than anything, a hopelessly devoted puppy dog, family on both sides that care about me, a wonderful job that I enjoy and do well at, and wonderful people wherever I go.
I still can't help wishing sometimes. I can't help just hoping that one of our big dreams actually comes true. It's not like they're outside the realm of possibility, far from it. We may get carried away in the details, but every one of our wishing have a basis in an actual opportunity that has been waved tantalizingly in our faces, but for one reason or another the bottom has completely fallen out of it. And I'm getting really sick and tired of getting back on that horse.
If wishes were fishes mine would probably look like this.
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